When They Act without Thinking

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

16 Mar 2008 07:30 PM

It might help you to know as a parent that a child acting first and thinking later is the norm--it does not mean that there is something wrong with your child or that he is somehow doomed to a life of mishaps, mistakes and apologies. As parents, however, it does mean that we have our work cut out for us in teaching our children how to slow down, weight the options and think BEFORE they act...

Have you ever heard the following from your child: "I just wasn't thinking" or "I forgot" or "I didn't know what would happen"? I think variations on these phrases and excuses are pretty common in any household with at least one child present. As the parent, we can be incredibly frustrated and wonder how they could just jump in and do something so ill-advised without considering the consequences. They just can't. It is not in their nature. That does not mean they are hopeless cases however and cannot be trained to think things through.

As parents, we can help by talking things through with our child or children--talking to them about choices and options and sharing our own personal history, as well as having "after the fact" conversations with them about how they could have made a better choice in a specific circumstance. They will learn over time, but it will take some practice and focus on our part to help them learn from their mistakes. The ability to see things through to their inevitable (or possible) circumstances is a skill that can take time to develop. Just because they are acting without thinking now, does not mean that they will always be doing so--at least not if we parents can put some energy and effort into trying to help them learn to do things differently.

Also: Empowering Your Child

Your Child's Development Pace

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