Search Results for: blog why dealing with our kids feelings can be difficult

Breast Cancer Awareness

October is breast cancer awareness month. As a single mother it is so important to take care of your health. Your children are depending on you to be healthy for them. Of course there are times when things happen that are completely out of your control. You can be eating right, exercising, doing all the right things and still end up with this life threatening disease. The important thing is that you are doing routine self exams and annual mammograms so that you can catch it early on. We all know that mammograms aren’t very fun. They are painful and … Continue reading →

Help Kids See How Far They’ve Come

Growing up can be daunting, painful, and scary–in addition to being fun and joyous too. Kids get overwhelmed, stressed and feel stuck just like adults do. As parents, we can help our children when they hit bumpy times and are afraid of what is to come by helping them look back and see what they have already accomplished. Kids tend to be incredibly short-sided. It is just the nature of the developing child to be focused on what is in front of them. The past is gone and the future is sometimes imaginary and unattainable. This can be a great … Continue reading →

Are You a Needy or High Maintenance Parent?

The other day one of my daughters was talking about one her friend’s parents and she referred to her as being “high maintenance.” I had to ask her what that meant? What does it mean when a parent is considered “high maintenance” by a seventeen-year-old? She said, “You know, it’s like she’s needy–she needs to be all involved and re-living her life through her kid.” This got me to thinking about healthy boundaries and how tough it can be to find that healthy balance between involvement and over-involvement–especially in today’s youth-centered culture. I definitely know of parents who get their … Continue reading →

When Our Children Feel Sad

It can be so incredibly heartbreaking to watch as our children experience genuine sadness. It seems to be hard-wired into us as parents to run to our child and try to comfort him when he feels sad or upset. What is hard-wired is then nurtured into full-bloom as we parent our infants an toddlers and learn how to respond to their cries and whimpers. As they get older, we may still find ourselves forever trying to “cheer them up” when they are sad–but, sadness is one of the many necessary and healthy human emotions, and our children actually grow and … Continue reading →

Howard Glasser and Difficult Children

Last week, I attended an after school in-service. Unlike some that I have attended, I left this in-service with useful information. The in-service pertained to working with difficult children. The presenters focused on the video and books by Howard Glasser. Glasser believes that we, as teachers and parents, focus too much energy on correcting undesired behaviors. He feels that more energy should be put into recognizing appropriate behaviors. I agree that most of us use a much stronger and more energized voice when correcting a child rather than praising a child. Some children, Glasser noted, feed off of the energy. … Continue reading →

Self-Respect Verses Self-Esteem

The nurse at my school recently came into each kindergarten class and took the weight and height measurements of the students. She takes these measurements and determines the child’s body-mass index. Parents can use these measurements to determine if their child is over or under weight. Mike Beede, the new governor of Arkansas, says that these types of statements should not be sent home to a child’s family. He concludes that it might lower a child’s self-esteem to determine that he/she is not the appropriate weight for his/her height and age. As our world gets harsher and harder, we are … Continue reading →

Speaking From the Heart

It occurred to me that the more genuine I am and the more honest, heartfelt and emotionally available I am when I talk with my children, the more likely we are to achieve constructive and meaningful communication. They can tell when I’m using my “active listening” skills or when I’m saying things that sound hollow or bookish–and not only do they not respond well, now they are likely to call me on it and accuse me of being fake! I think our kids are more emotionally empathetic than we give them credit for–they can sense when we are really scared, … Continue reading →

This Is Not What I Signed Up For

If you have read the short story by Emily Perl Kingsley called Welcome to Holland, you might have a peek into the feelings of a person who has learned their child has special needs. I distinctly remember telling our adoption case worker that we didn’t want a child placed that was hyperactive or violent. When we finally got our son, he was only over a year old and we weren’t able to determine what kinds of special needs would arise. I learned early on he had a temper problem. He would get very angry with his toys when they wouldn’t … Continue reading →