You Can Sit Here...But Don't Talk To Me

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

04 Apr 2007 06:44 AM

I often write about the marvelous challenges of living with teenagers. But, I've also got enough parenting time under my belt to see that there a lot of similarities between teenagers and kids at other stages--the teens are just bigger and with better vocabularies. The push/pull between attachment and independence that kids go through in the process of growing up seems to be at its snarkiest height in adolescence. Yesterday, one of my kids illustrated it perfectly when she invited me into the living room after school. In her crabbiest voice she said, "I want you to sit here--but don't talk to me!"

Doesn't it remind you of those early years--when the young child wants to know the parent is nearby while he spreads his wings and attempts his adventures? He wants you to be there "just in case" for added security, but he doesn't really want you to make your presence known or interfere in any way--that would blow his cover.

But, I'm still me too--even with all this parenting under my belt. I find it incredibly hard to just sit on my loveseat in the living room while the quintessential teenager sighs and glares over there on the couch, curled up in the fetal position. How can I NOT try to find out what major mishap or life-altering issues are being wrestled with in the mind of sixteen-year-old?! Eventually, after about 10 minutes of silence and at least that many heavy sighs, she says, "Well, aren't you going to ask any of your annoying questions?!" Annoying, meaning, "What's going on? Did something un-fun happen today? Why are you crabby?"

You see, the mom psychology dance continues even thought they are often trying to convince themselves that they are far too old to need that noisy mom with her annoying questions!

See Also: Who's Side Are You On, Mom?! and I'm Not Stupid, Mom!

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